Friday, 3 April 2009

'Sort it Out!'

I have a feeling that I won't be able to shake this one for a while: friends, acquaintances, complete strangers even are going to run up to me in the street, align their index fingers with the horizon and my face and shout 'SORT IT OUT!'. Eventually it'll get so bad that I wont be able to leave the house, I'll have to send out my house mates for food but they'll get annoyed at me so I'll have to work out how to do online shopping (Do M&S even do that???!!!), and i'll have to answer the door to the delivery guys in a balaclava to protect my identity. When the CIA work out who I am they'll freeze all my bank accounts and I wont even be able to do that and my body will gradually atrophy into a pale, ghostly vacuum-packed bag of bones and I'll be blogging my untimely demise with all the histrionics of Jade Goody but with none of the attention.

Which is a shame, because it was a good day all in all.

Aside from saving the world by being 1/100,000th of a human blood clot that blocked the beating heart of the UK financial district outside the Bank of England in London on Wednesday 1st April, I played a gig standing on a wall to said human blood clot right after Billy Bragg and just before Get Cape Wear Cape Fly. Then I did a duet of 'Imagine' with Kate Nash, who I can confirm has the lovely toothy smile one might imagine from a girl with impeccable oral hygiene.

Oh, and then there was that Channel 4 news interview. Would someone follow me around and slap my wrist every time i say 'erm' please?

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